2021

Hai Assalamualaikum. Today's the 10th day of 2021 and I can finally get myself to write again (hopefully istiqomah). This year I'll be turning 24, and there's nothing that scares me the most than seeing people around me progressing with their lives while Im stuck at doing nothing. It's not them getting better, it's me being comfortable at my place frightens me. Not trying to sound ungrateful, but I feel like I shouldn't feel content with what I have right now. 

I frankly have no plans for the future and I keep on telling myself to just go with the flow. I have seen so many from my circle that has started or is about to start investing to generate their passive income, some just had their engagement ceremony (congratulations!!!), some just had their newborn (congratulations toooo!!!), some is busy starting up new businesses, some are even writing books of their own and the list goes on. To each one of you, know that I am proud to be in your circle and I admire your determination and perseverance. I wish I was as organized and broad-minded like you are. 

I remember there was once a time when I had nothing to worry about other than getting good grades and surviving high school. What a time. I remember how naive everyone was and how little we care about adulting. I feel like we completely had no clue about life (at least for me) and would never bother up to size up my future. Do you regret those times, in all honesty?

I guess there is some truth when they say that 20-25 is a challenging phase. I'd personally call it as 'snafu phase'. It's confusing, really. One day I woke up feeling determined to get my jobs done for the day but the next minute I could just be laying in my bed reminiscing about my past and how it could have gone a lot better, like a LOT LOT better. Perhaps I am too enmeshed with the what ifs and if onlys, that they hinder my own progression. I wonder how hard the reality needs to hit me to get me make heads or tails of life.